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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

5 Things I Think, Oct 11

1) I think this whole pay cut thing is a giant ball of stress. While I’m glad I didn’t end up joining the ranks of the unemployed, the uncertainty of the next few months has me in a strange state of anxiety mixed with confidence. I don’t know how things are going to work out, but I have faith that they will. In the interim, Wifefish and I are seeking all opportunities for extra dollar bills.

Well, not all. I refuse to open Dangerboy Gigolo Escort service at this time. Or maybe I’m just holding out for a high bid…

2) I think the Haunted Trail had a good opening weekend. Which, frankly, I needed. I have a cap for the amount of stress I can actually carry around before I start behaving like an angry hippo.

It was a slow start, but that’s a good thing. We still had an inordinate amount of “carnage”: people ducking out halfway and heading back to the ticket booth, too scared to continue. Perhaps 8 of those in both nights, so we must be doing something right.

No pants-wetting yet, but we still have two more weekends.

Pro tip: if we say it’s too scary for kids, don’t be upset when your 10-year old runs out of a scene screaming. In any haunt, don’t ask the actors to “back off”. They won’t. They are there to SCARE YOU, and feed on sweet, sweet tears, screams, whimpers, and the spleens of those who pass out.

3) I think the Occupy Wall Street, and all the other Occupy protests going on, have the wrong target. They ought to be marching on DC. There will be no change in Wall Street unless and until corporate political sponsorship is abolished. As long as it behooves a congresscritter to create tax loopholes for their brother in law, as long as it is beneficial to get friends and relatives big fat government contracts and loans, as long as they pile on so much regulation that it’s cheaper to make things in China, then this shit will continue. Occupy the capital, and let’s get a real conversation going.

On this topic, a side-note…I’ve seen plenty of “other 99%” ideas, signs, rhetoric, and charts. The basis of these being that the “top 1%” has seen a disproportionate increase in their wealth. I don’t dispute that. But the chart I’m curious about is this: have they employed more people as their wealth has increased? Yes, the 24k employee of years ago is only 26k now, but is that rich fucker hiring more 26k employees than he used to? Nobody has shown me the answer to that question yet.

4) I think I enjoy not being relevant, as far as blogging goes. Well, not really…but this exchange was completely hilarious, and proved once again why I love the Bloggess. My absolute favorite bit there was “stand by for a demonstration of relevance.” We ALL want to put down “the man”, and it was nice to see Jenny whip a little ass on behalf of all of us who put our words out there on teh internets.

5) I think my douche-fu is downright mighty. An argument ensued this weekend between a douchecanoe and Wifefish over where cars would be parked. We were working a local festival and putting cars on my in-laws’ property, very close to said local festival. VIP parking, as it were.

The douche started in defensively as soon as I arrived, and I made a point of keeping the conversation short. He had, after all, given Wifefish a hard time and pissed her off with his obvious misogyny.

I provoked him by sitting in a camp chair in our lot, which he clearly couldn’t handle. After accusing Wifefish of heckling him, I told him, politely, to shove off, and returned to my chair. (She hadn’t “heckled”, she had merely won the argument.) Minutes later, he came charging over, asking to go over the “game plan.”

To make a long story short, I worked my douche-fu, inflating his ego at points and destroying him, politely, when he was demonstrably speaking false. He ended up giving us part of his lot for the next day, by way of apology. He was a veritable teddy bear for the entire day.

Kindness can kill, ladies and gents.

Well, that's 5 Things I Think...what are you thinkin'?


  1. It is because of rich fuckers that, in one month, I will no longer be employed by my current employer.


  2. I must learn this art of douche-fu! Maybe it'll help me get over my crippling fear of going out in public.


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