Beer, Beer, Beer, vol 2

Greetings, gang!  It’s time for me once again to amuse my taste buds and share the experience with you.  Since the inaugural beer review was Fascist Pig, I thought I’d continue with two offerings from the same brewer, Finch’s Beer Co, hailing from Chicago. 

Chicago and booze have a rich history, a special relationship from the Prohibition days.  Al Capone is immortalized in our collective conscious, the most visible symbol of days gone wrong which brought us the mega-brewers and squashed many a great beer.  Chicago, quite rightly, now boasts more than one beer producer laying down some tasty treats.

Enough with the history lesson, let’s talk beer.  I found myself on the way to the lake, as I often do, and stopped at a great liquor store on the way that has a wall of coolers as wide as a politician’s lying streak.  Having enjoyed the Pig, I decided to give Finch’s another try, and picked up their CutThroat American Pale Ale. 

One of the store employees noticed my choice, and recommended, nearly demanded, that I also grab their Threadless if ever I liked an IPA.  Given that I do, in fact, enjoy a hop assault on my tastebuds, I complied with minimal resistance.  Given also that I had already filled my cart, my wallet may have whimpered for a moment, but otherwise there was no objection.  I drove on to the lake and boarded the houseboat, ready to take the pontoon boat out the next day for pleasant relaxation at what some lovingly call the Redneck Day Spa. 

And lo! it came to pass that I loaded several cans into the cooler, and set forth to tie up in a favorite cove to swim, skip rocks with Little Danger, and taste beers with his Pop Pop. 

After kicking the day off with a Pig, I pulled out the red can of the Threadless IPA.

Upon the first sip, I felt immediately grateful for the arm-twisting beernut in the boozehaus.  He’d not led me astray.  The aroma is quite nice, fruity and hoppy, and the flavor is right there as well, with a fruity sweetness to start and a bitter hoppiness on the backside.  As the sun came from behind the clouds to warm us, this beer cooled my tongue with delight.  You’ll find over at Beer Advocate that they score this one at an 81, a good solid percentage, and one I agree with. 

The next beer on deck was the Cut Throat (named for the finch, not the piratical activity) American Pale Ale.  This one is similar to its brother, but more mellow.  It’s a middle-of-the-road Pale, something that refreshes but still has flavors to savor.  It’s more pine and citrus in the palate, and less bitter in the finish.  The current Advocate score is 79, bringing it in just about in line with the Threadless. 

Finch’s has two more offerings I haven’t tasted yet, but I assure you I will before the summer is through.  There are more lake trips in my future, which means more opportunity to relax and indulge in taste bud hedonism. 

Threadless and Cut Throat, from Finch’s…give ‘em a try, and Bottoms Up! 

Five Things I Think, June 7

1) I think that Lake Therapy is addicting.  I do in fact have a bit of a sunburn right now, as I remembered to slather sunscreen liberally upon the little Ginger I bear responsibility for, but forgot to do so for myself.  Instead, I slathered my insides with beer while hanging out in a cove, a progression of Fascist Pig, Threadless IPA, Cut Throat Pale Ale (all 3 from Finch’s), then moving along to a Hobgoblin and finishing with a Strongbow cider.  It was a good afternoon. 

There’s something strange about my metabolism at the lake, an odd sort of semi-immunity to beer that only occurs there.  Whereas I may stop at two on any given other day, on a lake day it’s long into the sixth before I start hearing my internal monologue introducing itself to the twelve steppers. 

It may be the sun, it may be the water, it may even be the complete relaxation that wraps around me like a mother’s hug when I’m on the water.  But one thing is certain:  for a man who enjoys good beers and good boozes, it’s a pleasant circumstance.

 Our post-storm sunset

2) I think a line of thunderstorms can create excitement under the best of circumstances; when on a boat it’s truly an interesting time.  We were hit Saturday evening by a squall line that was blowing steady 30 mph for a few minutes, which meant your very own Dangerboy tossed his shirt off and ran to the upper deck to secure chairs before they went over the side.  The rain was biblical, and also chilly.  I enjoyed a very good dinner in damp shorts, as we watched someone’s inflatable killer whale sail across the marina. 

Fortunately, Little Danger was unperturbed.  We’ve spent some fun thunderstorms together on the porch, his first when he was only 4 days old.  I’d like to get it into his head early, and I think I’ve succeeded, that storms are nothing to fear, just a reason for caution.

3) I think it’s a little disgusting the amount of civil liberties I’ve watched erode away over the past 8 years.  The TSA, DOJ, NSA, and several other alphabet soup agencies really need pulled in.  And gang, it’s only going to get worse.  The information collected about each of us leads to a dystopia once imagined, now experienced.  We’re headed toward the world of Shadowrun, just lacking elves and orcs. 

Still, it could be worse.  Watching the events unfolding in Turkey makes me truly happy that our police still, for the most part, toe the line of “good guy”.  Yet I also see a possible future there for Little Danger, as the soldierizing of our police force continues.  It’s concerning, to say the least, as probable cause is less and less necessary for search, seizure, and incarceration.  We increasingly approach the Panopticon, and I think it’s a horrible way to design a society.

4) I think it’s been too long since I’ve sat down at the gaming table.  I just realized I haven’t run or played an RPG since the calendar rolled over to 2013, and that’s just damned unacceptable.  This shall be rectified with great prejudice.  Now I just have to figure out what group to get together, and which game to run…hmmm. 

5) I think I’m happy to be typing these words again.  At the risk of covering ground we’ve already walked together, it’s important that I dig out from this self-imposed mountain of solitude and get social again.  For a guy whose gift is getting along with people, I’ve been seeing way too much of my own four walls. 

The resurgence of this place, my own little corner of the government-surveilled series of tubes, has helped me to come back to a sense of normalcy and productivity.  Since success often breeds more success, I can’t imagine this as anything other than a good thing. 

So…what do YOU think today?

Bonus thought:  Did I just get through a whole blog post with "damn" as the strongest word?  What the heck is wrong with me????

Five Things I Think, May 28

A vacation in the woods leads to a lot of thinking.  And drinking, sometimes.  I may or may not have greeted the day with a morning swig of Jameson straight from the bottle. 

Let’s spend a few minutes together, and I’ll tell you what I think, OK?

1) I think I adore my son.  I know that’s a no brainer, but bear with me on this one. 

During Saturday night’s furious drumming, Wifefish brought Little Danger and his little drum down to the Dome to hang out with Daddy.  She sat him next to me in the sand, surrounded by some of the best drummers I know. 

He beamed.  He gazed at the fire and slapped that little drum one-handed, his eyes alight.  I beamed.  I gazed at him and played little fills for him, little auditory “I Love Yous” that he did not recognize as such, but one day likely will.  (I can make Wifefish grin by playing a particular little “solo” in the drum circle we frequent, even in a sea of 40 drummers).  I grinned like the Cheshire Cat, and grooved on.

The moment didn’t last, of course.  The drums picked up speed and intensity, and as his head was only inches from the bottom of my drum, where all the decibels live, it got too loud for him toot sweet.  (OK, OK, tout de suite for you purists.)  But brief as it was, it was a moment we enjoyed, each for different reason, but each completely.  

I was worried that the trip might look like this, but he really enjoyed himself.

2) I think that nights spent with a drum under my hands, dancers moving with their whole spirit, and woodsmoke scenting the air are some damn good nights indeed.  There’s a moment in a drum circle that may not come in other musical venues, a time where as a drummer you realize that a dancer has latched on to your specific contribution to the rhythmic tapestry being played; this is especially cool when the drum jam is free-form, and not specific polyrhythm. 

I had some moments thus this weekend, one in particular with an awesome free spirited chic, who just happens to be a god friend, who allowed her movement to expand into the space in a fashion best described as “awesome.” 

Suffice to say, it was anything but humbling to hear her describe it, this new experience to her that I’d been on both sides of before. 

We are all dancers, in our own way.

3)   I think it’s wonderful to enjoy life’s rituals together.  Two dear friends got engaged this weekend, a joyful event indeed.  Seeing the subtle way their demeanor changed as they stood together was awesome as well, a subtle “something different”, a leaning into each other that was just a tiny bit more, well, profound of a sudden.  It will blend back into normalcy, but for a day or two, it was glaringly obvious…and perfectly right.

4)  I think I’m blessed to have more than a small number of friendships that just exist in a timeless state: no matter how much time goes by, we pick up as if we saw each other yesterday.  There’s no awkwardness, just gladness in each other’s company.  I can think of six of these right off the top of my head.  These are friends that do not live close by, but with whom I remain close anyway, even given my horrible status as a poor correspondent. 

I’ve never analyzed what it is about these relationships that hold them in near perfect stasis.  Perhaps they exist in some quantum state where observation destroys the observed, and so I will remain willfully ignorant. 

5)  I think I abhor cold nights while camping.  It got down to 40ish degrees both nights, and damp the second.  It was fucking frigid.  Granted, it wasn’t Hoth in January, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like a Midwest May, either. 

We wrapped Little Danger up like a burrito between us, rather than relegating him to his own cocoon.  Given that his head stays at pillow level, this meant periodic crotch stomps were received by yours truly as he would stretch and flip.  That I did not eat his face is testimony to my devotion the child.

We made the choice not to use our tent heater, given that red hot metal at floor level of a fabric domicile with a toddler in residence makes just about as much sense as strapping a raving badger to your bare genitals while juggling flaming chainsaws.  And so we suffered slightly, by which I mean that I cramped up like a shock therapy patient who has pissed off his physician. 

Still, the overall experience was in fact positive, and left me with the firm feeling that my own bed, when returned to, was a little slice of heaven. 

So how was YOUR weekend?  Let me know what you think here in the comments…

The Lord Bless Charley Mopps!

I’ve decided to give myself more reasons to write.  I’m going to start including beer reviews, to continue to provide good news for taste buds everywhere. Well, the beer-enjoying taste buds anyway.

I consider the fact that as a younger man, fresh into the Air Force, I had no experience with beer.  Then I was handed my first beer, a Milwaukee’s Best. (They call it The Beast for a reason.)  Then my second, a Budweiser.  I decided that I wanted no further experience with beer, which of course led to some very uncomfortable moments at squadron outings where I could be observed trying to man it up with the rest of the boys while holding an ice cold Zima. 

Suffice to say, my reputation as a weirdo was not easy to ditch.  When you drink a Zima amongst a squadron of manly military men that do construction work on base, those men will look at you as if you were a tap dancing gnu.  “It just ain’t right.”

Eventually, I met my then-future wife, and worse, her dad.  This was a man who knew beer, and he introduced me to beers with flavors I never imagined.  Gone were the days of horse-with-kidney-problem brews.  Sadly, that was also a farewell to weighing in at 156 pounds, as I discovered the joys of tasty beers. 

I find that it’s an exciting time to be a beer drinker in America.  The Big Brewers are losing the battle for America’s taste buds, and more micros are popping up all the time.  It’s a return to the heady pre-prohibition days, to the ability to head to your local brewhouse and fill a growler to take home, to the need to hit the gym so as to get rid of a spare tire that could fit a fucking dump truck. 

So what to start with today, you ask?  I’m going right after your taste buds with some hoppy, floral goodness in an awesome can.  Seriously, just look at this artwork…the Castro of Bacon, the Lenin of Loins, the Chavez of Chops:  highly reminiscent of Moon Over Parador. 

This bad boy has enough hop that it’s easy to think of it as an IPA, but in actuality it’s billed as an American Amber.  A product of Finch’s Beer Company in Chicago, this beer features a nice caramel malt with a hoppy blast and a bit of a flowery finish.  Simple it ain't.  It’s also a pretty beer, red in the glass and looking ready to please. 

This is a beer I can especially enjoy with my feet propped up on the upper deck of the houseboat.  Or hell, anywhere else really. 

Fascist Pig…give it a shot, and BOTTOMS UP!!!

Five Things I Think, May 13

1) I think it was a great Mother’s Day.  Little Danger and I let Wifefish sleep in late, then piled on top of her for furious cuddles.  There was giggling, and the fact that even though I primed LD to say “Happy Mother’s Day”, he ran into the room and yelled “Happy Birthday Mommy!”  Close enough for 2 year olds and government work. 

We hosted the family gathering, so I also grilled furiously, throwing down an assortment including vegetable skewers, shrimp, hot dogs, steaks, short ribs, and bacon-wrapped porkchops in a mojito marinade.  I rule the grill with an iron fist, y’all.  I ran that grill like a deranged conductor, flinging meat and vegetable alike hitherto and yon from plate to flame and back at a pace best described as “furioso profundi”.  (OK, maybe not “best” described, but described nonetheless.) 

2) I think that I may be a broken record on the whole “How cool is Little Danger” topic.  You're just going to have to deal with it. He commanded the dance floor at a wedding reception this weekend, doing the Time Warp and the “cupid shuffle” and various other dances, or at least his best toddlerized approximation thereof.  Adorable.  I don’t get tired of perfect strangers approaching Wifefish and I to compliment his looks, manners, and general debonair nature. 

And then I realize he will be a teenager one day, and I shudder in fear.  With any luck, he will only use his power for good. 

3)  I think I’m enjoying getting back to the gym.  Not only am I hitting the bike again, but I’m also doing the 100 push up challenge, there’s an app for that.  Granted, my upper body currently feels like I’ve jackslapped a pissed off hippopotamus and subsequently been trounced for my transgression, but I’m no longer huffing and puffing at push up number five.  (Which, let me tell you, is embarrassing as all hell.)

4) I think it’s time for some Lake Therapy.  Not that I’m stressed or anything, but just that this weekend is a perfect time to sit on the boat, put my feet up, and enjoy a daiquiri or twelve. 

Granted, at time of writing the water temperature is only 66 degrees…which means the only way I’m jumping in for any amount of time is if I’m fleeing a charging rhinoceros.  Given that rhinos are incredibly rare at the lake, it’s quite likely that I’ll be dry most of the time. 

5)  I think you should check this out: The Surreal Mother Geek

This is the awesomest kickstarter I’ve seen in a while, and hits me right in the feels.  The Venn diagram of this and what I want my kid involved exposed to is nearly a single circle. Also, I may or may not have had my hand up a goose's backside in that vid. 

Get over there, watch the video (because it’s fun), and think about sharing or supporting it…GEEKS UNITE!!! 

What do YOU think?

Five Things I Think, May 10th

1) I think it’s been entirely too long since I’ve pounded out a blog entry.  I’ve been in that weird space where things are so bleak, that even though you’re not making any headway, you don’t want to lose momentum.  It wasn’t quite depression, so much as guilt.    Finances have been ass for the past year, to a point of very deep pain and reduced menu, but I’ve finally confirmed that light at the end of the tunnel isn’t a train.  Hence the popping up for air here, and writing a bit. 

I went a year and a half on half pay, with no real commissions to speak of, either.  It wasn’t for lack of trying, but just a hole in the markets I deal with.  I have come to loathe legal departments, squeamishly saying “NO!” to something so innocuous as a happy birthday call to clients.  This “recovery” is slower than you think, my friends…because the greedy are still greedy, but worse, they’re scared.  They’re frightened of everyday things being made illegal. 

But things are looking up, and I’m now at ¾ pay, with sales coming in.  It’s a far better place to be, actually having fun at work again.  And then there’s also a new opportunity, joining the family business, which will require a bit of licensing and learning…something I’m truly looking forward to. 

2) I think this year with Little Danger has been one of the best ever.  Team Danger is becoming a pretty strong unit, with lots of laughter, tons of fun, and a decent bit of learning.  The kid spoils me, and Wifefish too. 

 That's a whole lotta cute right there.

I am truly amazed by him; sharing is natural to him, as is affection and caring.  He truly cares if someone has a “booboo”, and I think that’s pretty cool in a 2 year old.  Add to that what appears to be a natural athletic ability, and I’m fairly constantly wowed.  Granted, we have our challenging days, but those are to be expected.  He’s TWO.  Which means he should have all the social graces of a drunken epileptic yak at a rave.

 

Yes, he wears a cape.  They're quite comfortable.

I love the little rituals we have.  In the morning, watching an episode of Deep Space Nine together…”Daddy, watch Shtarchrek!”  Bedtime, reading Shakespeare, or Rumi, or when he’s feeling very geeky, a Star Wars novel.  (We’ve been slogging through Truce at Bakura, and thankfully we’re nearly done.  Not my favorite.) 

And like little boys from time immemorial all the world over, one of his absolute favorite pastimes is to make his Mommy laugh.  I find that days are far easier to start when I watch Wifefish smile.

3) I think I’m glad that spring is here.  Whereas this is somewhat universal and a little bit inane, it’s true.  The green things, the thunderstorms, the ability to run around outside with Little Danger like a crazy man…all that goes in the win column. 

Last evening I spent some time with Wifefish and Little Danger setting up the raised herb garden, conveniently located within arm’s reach of the grill.  It’s easy to create happiness for my better half, just add plants and dirt.  Our garden will hopefully be far better this year, as we are going to go thermonuclear on the squash bugs right out of the gate.  Zucchini stealing pricks. 

4) I think poison oak is the devil.  Or maybe Lucifer’s crotchfruit.  I spent last weekend running around the woods in various different guises, and evidently in one of the foam combats we had, I landed in some poison oak.  And now I have a coffee-cup-sized set of blisters on my thigh itching in a fashion to rival waterboarding as a method of interrogation, yet there is no one nearby to blurt truths unto and thus deliver me from said misery.  Alack.  Alay.

I guess I’m just going to have to tough this one out.  Scotch is called for, in liberal amounts.  Not to apply topically, but to make me forget the vegetative affrontery completely.

5)  I think, no, I KNOW that I’m glad tax season is over.  This was the worst I’ve ever worked through.  The software I use was never quite right, even through 13 versions.  The big box chain at which I worked part time overcharged clients (and I am happy to say I won’t be back there!) The IRS started late, thanks to Congress waiting until after the last minute to finalize this year. 

And next year, my first in my own office, is going to be worse.  Obamacare, whether you love it or hate it, is going to create a more complicated tax return.  We’re going to have to prove that we had insurance, and pay penalties right off the top if we didn’t have “sufficient” insurance, according to the IRS.  I, for one, am looking just as forward to returns with this new requirement as I would to performing a root canal on an unaenesthetized hippopotamus with an attitude problem.  

And that's the return of Dangerboy.  A little underwhelming, perhaps, but I hope to be here a little more from here out.  What do YOU think?

 

Five Things I Think, June 13

And away we go!

1) I think I'm a zombie, as is Wifefish.  No, we haven't started snorting bath salts and joined the zombie dumbpocalypse...we have a toddler.  He's been waking in the middle of the night, and the only thing that can console him is Daddy. 
Whereas this is heartwarming, it's also damnably inconvenient, as it has been for parents for time immemorial.  We are but treading footsteps that have been trodden more often than a politician takes a bribe.  It is part of the human experience, and thus I find myself rejoicing if I've only been woken once or twice. 
As a side-thought...that bath salt thing is fucking freaky.  Whereas I have no moral objection to mind-altering substances, there seems to be a line between mood-enhancing drugs and Holy Shitballs on a Polar Bear Why The Fuck Would You Do That drugs.  I think the "salts" are in category two.  "Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman, or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm gettin' paid. But these Reavers... last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?" 

2) I think that a day spent at the zoo is far preferable to a day at work.  I blew a day of vacation to join Little Danger and Wifefish for a day of animal hijinks.  We were joined by good friend Ruffstuff, and Danger's cousins Lizardbelly and The General.  Yes, I enjoy these nicknames too. 
It was a fine day, filled with fun.  It was not the office.  Rhino poop, though stinky, is sometimes far preferable to the office air freshener. 
My personal treat was checked off early in the day, feeding a giraffe.  The long-necked creatures hold a special fascination for me.  (Really, click that if you don't recall the tale.)  Little Danger, for his part, wasn't sure what to think of the proceedings.  I think the fact he could only really see the giraffe's head and neck lent a strange "what the hell is that disembodied neck" air to the experience.

The Giraffe seems more inquisitive than Little Danger

 

I'm the one with the bald spot.

3) I think I have mixed feelings about being a landlord again.  Whereas the tenants are people I know to be reliable, I have the headache of a second house and its upkeep again, and "Dangerboy:  Slumlord" just doesn't have a good ring to it.  But hey, there are tax write offs for each repair.  That's gotta be a silver lining, right?  (Cue Krusty the Clown grumble.)
On the plus side, they have already themed the bar back in a pirate direction, so there is a second Pyrate Pub in operation close by.  And that's why the rum's gone.

4) I think it's hilarious and awesome when someone gets the Streisand effect right upside their head.  If you look over on the right hand side of this blog, you'll see that I follow The Oatmeal, a quality webcomic/blog/humor site. 
Here are your Cliff Notes for the fun you've missed this week.  1 year ago, Matt Inman got pissy with FunnyJunk (no, I'm not linking their douchebag site) for lifting many of his comics with no credit, slathering them with ads and earning revenue.  They took a few of them down.
This week, Charles Carreon picked a fight with a Bearodactyl, serving a letter to Matt demanding 20,000 dollars in a case of FunnyJunk being butthurt over the truth being out there.  Matt's response can be boiled down to the essentials with "Snort my taint" (thanks Popehat for that phrase...).  Operation BearLove Good Cancer Bad was born, and rather than pay 20k to him, he'd run a fundraiser for both World Wildlife Federation and American Cancer Society, and send a picture of the money to him.  (Along with a picture of "your mom seducing a kodiak bear.)
Cue the internet:  those who have clicked the donate button have raised over $150,000, combining the act of lifting the middle finger to a bully lawyer douche ( a censorious dickbag to be certain) and fighting cancer.
This should be the end of the story, but no.  Charlie doubled down on dumb, reporting Matt to the website he's using to collect funds for violating their terms of use.  What kind of dumbshit tries to stop a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society in a pissing match?
The kind of guy who thinks he can win against the entire internet.  Yes, he just tripled down on stupid.  You just can't make this shit up.

For my part, I support the Oatmeal completely.  What happened here is that someone tried to use a lawyer as a bully, and the victim was smarter, more popular, and frankly more worthy.  Incidentally, there are a line of volunteers to take Inman's case pro bono if this ever does go to court, so suffice to say Captain Carreon is kind of...screwed. 

5) I think my son is a superhero in the making.  If you whisper "I'm Batman", he will respond.  Behold the moment he slapped a tortilla mask on his face, proclaiming in a fear-inspiring whisper worthy of the Dark Knight:  "Um Bahhpah!" 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why being me is awesome.  Because I get to live with that.  Every. Goddam.  Day.


Let's hear it...what do you think?  Click the comments, click the follow buttons, stick around!